Alexis Flores, who committed the sickest crime I know of to ever land somebody on the FBI 10 Most Wanted, but who was removed from the list last year to make room for Ryan James Wedding (who has also been caught) and more cartel guys. He looked sort of like a Hispanic Elijah Wood in his mugshot. He committed the crime in Philadelphia in 2000 while using an alias, fled to Arizona, was arrested in 2005 and deported for being an illegal immigrant, then they found his DNA matched the crime scene and he was added in 2007 despite being a total ghost. However they caught him yesterday, so chalk one up for Kash Patel, I guess (in spite of Patel being a total fuck; hey, even a stopped clock is right twice a day, huh?)

This is one of my Holy Grails of true crime; now that he’s caught, if they catch the killers of Oakey “Al” Kite, Amy Mihaljevic, Morgan Jade Violi and the St. Louis Jane Doe (and identify who she is), and locate Randy Wayne Leach, those are my biggest remaining grails.

As for North Korea, well what, why don’t they just ask her to drum for Rush while she’s at it huh? Huhhhh?

Norville’s right, The Substance sucked ass.