1)Lifehouse - “Hanging By A Moment”
SONG: Heeeyyy, a ROCK song is the biggest single of the year! Isn’t this great? Wait, no it’s not. I can’t name any member of this band, and didn’t even remember this song–when I saw the title I THOUGHT I recognized it, but I must have been thinking of some Nickelback or Incubus song or something. Geezus, what’s worse, terrible shit by Limp Bizkit, Creed, Nickelback, etc., or completely faceless, generic music like this? This just goes to support my theory that as I get older, forgettable music is worse than bad music.
VIDEO: As generic as the song. These guys don’t even LOOK interesting! There isn’t even any dated looking clothing or hair to make fun of.

2)Alicia Keys - “Fallin’”
SONG: I always hated this song, and her, but it’s possible that the off-putting effect of the song was enhanced by the even more off-putting video. In fact, that’s definitely it. The song is repetitive (get a third chord for God’s sake) but I guess her singing could be a lot worse, and teenagers have written worse songs than this. It hasn’t aged poorly, either. So there’s that.
VIDEO: …but there’s also this. I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand the way she keeps doing that thing with her face at the camera. Trying to look all soulful and burning-inside and shit. Over and over and over. That’s still very annoying. But it gets worse: there’s a part where she’s riding in a bus past some convicts working in a cornfield, and she looks out the window at them, and tears roll down their cheeks and then they all start singing the backing vocals in the song. YIKES. What is this, the precursor to that godawful Dave Matthews song? Mediocre song, loathsome video.

3)Janet Jackson - “All For You”
SONG: Harmless enough energetic R&B-pop stuff. I guess she was doing better than her brother at the time, but that’s probably not saying much. You know I actually like a couple of her songs, like “What Have You Done For Me Lately.” But hey, that’s from the 80s. This song just kind of drags on forever and beats the “all for youuuuu” hook into the ground. I don’t remember it, either.
VIDEO: 35 year old Janet gets out her cleavage and her midriff and torn jeans and hair and perfect teeth and tries to look and act 18, I guess in response to Britney/Christina/etc (or maybe Mariah Carey, but she’d been around a decade, and I guess Glitter was that year, too.) You’re not 18, Janet. I suppose she’s better at that sort of thing than poor old Cher, but that’s a given. At least the video has nice colors in it, I guess. And some rotoscoped animation or what have you?

4)Train - “Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me)”
SONG: DIE. Hideous ripoff of circa-1971 Elton John featuring a very annoying and full-of-himself singer. That raspy “heeey eeyeyyeyyy” shit gets old after about thirty seconds. The lyrics to the song are dumb, too–“the best soy latte you ever had and…me.” Yeesh. Thank God 9/11 happened so as to take people’s minds off this song, huh?
VIDEO: Is that Howie Mandel on guitar? No? Get this shit off my screen. Always hated this band and all of their hit songs. I guess it’s still better than “Hey Soul Sister” or that “help me help me I’m no good at life” song.

5)Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule - “I’m Real (Murder Remix)”
SONG: A simple beat and simple flutey keyboard and “cause I’m reaaaal” being beaten to death. And lots of Ja Rule, who I remember people making fun of back then and saying he was actually 12 years old or something like that. Hearing him again is pretty amusing, actually.
VIDEO: Is this where Jennifer Lopez’s physical appearance was sealed for the rest of her life? She seriously looks barely any different now than she did in this video 25 years ago. People hanging out. Ja Rule pushes someone into a pool. And yeah, he does look 12.

6)Matchbox Twenty - “If You’re Gone”
SONG: At least Rob Thomas’ vocals aren’t as grating and overmodulated as in the Santana song. Musically, a few horns and synth-strings turn this into a mildly passable tune.
VIDEO: Black and white footage of Rob Thomas and his bangs and some other people playing on a roof. Not much to report.

7)Eve featuring Gwen Stefani - “Let Me Blow Ya Mind”
SONG: Eve wasn’t much of a rapper, very monotonous sounding to me even if I’m not an expert on this genre. The main thing I remember about this track is that it signalled Gwen Stefani’s comeback–she got a lot of accolades at the time, I recall, for her little sidekick role here (the albums No Doubt put out between Tragic Kingdom and this song, I also recall, did not.), which in turn led to all that “Hollaback Girl” shit and a No Doubt comeback and her eventually marrying Blake Shelton and going MAGA. Thanks, Eve! Thanks for all that!
VIDEO: The video is actually pretty funny, Eve and Gwen on silly motorcycles and shit crash a party full of snotty rich white people who make hilarious facial expressions at them when they enter. Gwen Stefani, 32 at the time, wears baggy pants with the top of her underwear sticking out, which showed she too was trying to be Christina Aguilera. I swear to God one of the people in this video is Udo Kier, but I’m not going to look it up.

8)Dido - “Thank You”
SONG: I’ll confess, I still kind of like “Stan.” It was pointed out even then that it used the only good part of the Dido song, the opening. That still stands, completely. I don’t know a single other song by her and neither do you. Do you?
VIDEO: Cops show up with an eviction notice to take Dido out of her weird little Candy Land house. Weird. Then it gets bulldozed. Cool!

9)Lenny Kravitz - “Again”
SONG: Didn’t know he was even still relevant as late as 2001. Wasn’t exactly a critics’ favorite, was he? I like his other songs better than this middling tune but I suppose it doesn’t matter, I never listen to the other ones unless they’re being played at the grocery store or something. There are some cellos towards the end of this song that reminded me a little of Magical Mystery Tour-era Beatles, but don’t quote me on that.
VIDEO: Lenny eats cereal and watches old cartoons, but this isn’t the drug dealer scene from Pulp Fiction. Then he whispers menacingly in Gina Gershon’s ear. After some club footage and scenes of Lenny walking around the streets, they start making out, the ultimate sign a video has lost inspiration.

10)Destiny’s Child - “Independent Women Part I”
SONG: Sub-TLC slop that recreates the shaky vibe from the previous year’s Destiny’s Child hit. Not much of a song, IMO. The earlier one was better. (The “Survivor” and “Bootylicious” songs were also this year, and those are even worse.)
VIDEO: “Charlie’s Angels Boot Camp”? The hell? Oh, this is a promo from the movie. Bad movie. Not eager to watch again. Bad computer graphics about in this video, very dated.

NOTES:
Not much of a year, I don’t really care if I never hear any of these 10 songs again. What else was in the top 100?

....nothing. Looking through the entire Billboard Year End Hot 100, I can’t name a SINGLE song I ever liked or would want to hear again–U2’s “Beautiful Day” is at #75, and I liked that a lot when it came out but would never go out of my to hear it today. Nelly? Mary J. Blige? O-Town? Shaggy? Blu Cantrell? That “Lady Marmalade” remake? Staind? “With Arms Wide Open,” die and go to Hell. Oh wait, Aerosmith’s “Jaded” is in there, I don’t hate that one anymore. But really, what a world were we living in when “Jaded” by Aerosmith is the only song out of 100 that I’d go out of my way to listen to?