This makes me feel a lot better about that stupid Castlevania timeline that I tried to write when I was in high school.

I didn’t recall Dennis Hopper’s Koopa character having a wife in that movie, then I looked it up and found out this person was talking about the character played by Fiona Shaw, who I best remember for the hilariously awful scene in Brian De Palma’s mostly-awful The Black Dahlia where she waves bye bye at everybody before blowing her own head off (she’s revealed as being the one who killed the Black Dahlia.)

I didn’t think the 1993 film was as awful as I’d been led to believe, but I didn’t see it until I was like 39 years old, either. The idea of someone trying to shoehorn Mario characters into a giant expensive movie set that basically amounted to “Blade Runner/Total Recall for 10 year olds” is kind of amusing, let alone that that “someone” was the people responsible for Max Headroom.

BTW if you didn’t know this already, Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo were both drinking heavily before the movie was finished and Hoskins later said it was the worst thing he’d ever been involved with. Dennis Hopper’s kid asked him why he did such movies and Hopper said “so you can have nice new shoes” to which the kid said “I don’t need nice shoes that badly, Dad”